it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
