I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
