i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
i out mim tonsoeep
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