I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
zippers are such a cool invention
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Randomize
