Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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