She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
