He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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