She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
