I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
