great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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