This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
