True but thats because hes a fetus.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
