You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
