On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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