There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
