i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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