Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
