You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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