We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
