sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Randomize
