I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
