i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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