90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
