I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
