here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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