butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
