I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
