last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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