whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
