I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
