Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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