i think i have two assholes
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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