Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
