Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
