I think my vagina is haunted
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
