The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
