Kiss
Puke
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Still dying that you shit outside
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
