omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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