I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
