I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
