There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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