Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
