I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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