That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
