Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im holly from the hills drunk
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
