dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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