i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
