please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
