Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
