Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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